ANXIETY AND NETWORKING
March 29th, 2026
Networking—just like any other facet of starting a business—is no easy feat. You have to bring a certain energy, come up with the perfect pitch, and make sure you represent your business well enough that people want to work with you. If you’re a social butterfly, it might seem like a no-brainer. But what if you’re absolutely terrified of connecting with people?
I was recently at the Women’s Expo in Huntsville, an event that highlighted local black owned, women-led businesses in the area. Me, having a business, I saw it as the perfect opportunity to connect with others.
In the hours before the event, I was hyping myself up. I felt great— I was hella excited! I was dressed to impress, and I made sure I had everything I needed in order to get my networking on.
Then I was riding to the event when the thoughts and anxiety surged.
What if they don’t care enough to engage with me?
What if my awkwardness puts them off?
What if I say the wrong thing?
What if I have a terrible wardrobe malfunction, trip, fall, and embarrass the hell out of myself?
It hit me like a bus before I even parked my car.
I stepped inside, and the anxiety continued to build. I walked around like a timid puppy, carrying my expensive camera and smiling awkwardly as I tried to record some footage. It was heavily crowded. I said “excuse me” nearly 500 times. I felt seen and invisible all at the same time.
And then my worst fear came true: my very first networking experience started off exactly how I imagined—awkward as hell.
In the middle of my attempt to connect with someone, another person interrupted me, and from there the conversation between me and the vendor was hijacked. And guess what I did? I stood there like an awkward third wheel, waiting for them to finish so I could give the vendor my information and leave.
But as their conversation droned on, the more I felt like evaporating into thin air. I felt so shy and uncomfortable that I walked a few feet away to film more content, not realizing that I had walked off with the product the vendor gave me to purchase. I had every intention of paying, but I was so nervous I didn’t even think to say, “Hey, I’ll come right back once you guys are done chatting.”
Painfully embarrassing.
After some time, I managed to exchange contact information—not only to network, but more so to apologize for my awkwardness.
After getting all the content I needed and being there for only 30 minutes, I managed to speak to two vendors. For little old me, that definitely was a win in my book, but I still teared up in the car out of frustration.
Why am I so scared to put myself out there?
I have no issue being on camera or making presentations, but the thought of being perceived in a negative light by people I’m trying to build with can get to me in more ways than I care to admit.
I know there are millions of others out there like me with these irrational fears. So how do we solve this?
Your networking anxiety won’t be gone overnight, but it can be managed.
Here are some things I’ve picked up—and sometimes forget to implement—when it comes to being a shy girl in a business world:
Your mind is very powerful. The second it tells you that you’re going to be successful at something, hold onto it. The second you think negatively about yourself and your potential experience, you throw all those good vibes away.
The Superman pose. It sounds ridiculous, but it works. Place your hands on your hips for a few minutes in a superhero pose. It sends signals to your mind that tell you you’re prepared for whatever you’re about to face.
When networking and speaking to people,ask the kind of questions you would want someone to ask you. The thoughtful ones that generate real human connection. The people you meet could end up becoming lifelong friends. Talk to them like they already are.
When in doubt, open with a compliment. People love hearing good things about themselves. It disrupts the flow of nervous jitters and can open them up to speaking more. Once you land the compliment, go in with the thoughtful questions. People love to talk about themselves. Let them. The more you actively listen, the more you’ll learn.
Control your own variables. Pick the number of people you want to speak to. Pick a time to leave. Even if you stay for 10 minutes and speak to one person, if that was your goal, then that was your goal. The next time another event comes along, increase those numbers. You’ll eventually learn to mingle naturally once you push past your own limitations over time.
When the anxiety is too much, it’s okay to step back for a few moments and gather yourself. Find a bathroom or quiet corner to regroup. Take a few deep breaths, then get back out there.
Remember your why. Why are you doing this? If you’re determined enough to start a business, you should be determined enough to network to support it.
Everyone else there has been through the same thing. It just takes time to adjust, find your way in, and command the kind of attention you want for yourself and your business.
Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. You worked your ass off to get as far as you have. Don’t let anxiety ruin potentially good opportunities for you.
Do it even if you’re terrified. Getting out of your comfort zone is necessary. It shapes you into someone who can handle things much bigger than networking hiccups as your business grows. You never know how far you can go unless you start.
This journey as a business owner is hard, but you signed up for the challenge. And one day, we’ll overcome that challenge and work with some incredible people to do some incredible things.
Honestly, two vendors in 30 minutes while fighting anxiety the entire time? That is not failure. That is a WIN and I can’t care who think it’s not.
